Lewis Carroll’s take on Vaccine Wonderland

Lewis Carroll came to a friend of mine in a dream last night, and recited these verses to him, urging that they be made known to the world of 2021.

Jabber-Whacky

“That’s brilliant!” said the slimy toads

    Who do PR for J and J.

All giddy were the bullish droves,

    Who bid its stock price up that day.

“We’ll get them Jabberwhacked, by gum!

     The news will pop off every screen!

We’ll scare them witless ’til they stand

     In line to beg for our vaccine.”

He took his viral sword in hand;

      Long time he tuned its RNA,

Then loosed it in the Wuhan Military

      Games, and walked away.

One, two! One, two! And through and through

      The virus ’cross the nations spread!

Economies went down in flames,

      Three million people dead.

And in stand-offish fear they cringed

      And cowered lonely, one by one–

They shut their doors and stayed at home

      Not one was having fun.

“And hast thou slain the therapies?

      The ivermectin? HCQ?

We’ll outlaw vitamins and zinc

      And every homemade herbal brew.”  

And so it was at Astra-Z,

     Moderna’s labs and Pfizer’s, too

’Twas brilliant for their profits, and

     Their customers had ne’er a clue.

“O Stockholders,” said CEO,

      “You’ve had a pleasant run!

Shall we be selling boosters next?”

      But answer came there none—

And this was scarcely odd, because

      He’d killed them, every one.